Is it Okay for the Partners in a Marriage to Flirt with Other People?

I am far from perfect and no one is, but two wrongs don't make a right.

I am convinced that there are several forms of infidelity. I believe all terms of endearment should be sacred between couples, reserved only for each other.

I’ve heard people joke, “Just because I’m on a diet doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu!” That mentality refers to the idea that checking out someone is “harmless” as long as they look but don’t touch.

The very act of looking and lusting objectifies others, creates insecurity through unfair comparisons for our spouse and subtly pulls your thoughts away from your spouse.

Abuse in marriage doesn’t always involve physical violence. The most common forms of abuse leave deep scars on the soul. If your words to your spouse are constantly critical, you’re breaking your marriage vows.

If you are intentionally hiding your status as a married person, flirting, acting single around your single friends or at bars, or online, etc., then you’re WAY out of bounds.

If you are giving your primary loyalty to your parents ahead of your spouse, if you’re more concerned with your friends than with your spouse, you’re essentially cheating.

All true intimacy and all infidelity begin in the mind; not in the bedroom. If your eyes and your thoughts are wandering away from your spouse, then your heart is going to follow.

Marriage must be built on a foundation of total transparency and trust. You should never have a problem with your spouse going through your phone unless you’re planning a surprise party or hiding a holiday gift. There are no places for secrets in a marriage.

When you refuse to admit fault, make excuses for your actions, blame your spouse instead of taking responsibility or fail to sincerely apologize, you’re committing an act of infidelity. Some of the most powerful and healing words are, “I was wrong. I’m truly sorry. Please forgive me.”

Want to make this all simple? LOVE! Love does what is truly best for others without regard for itself!

My brother, Kenny –John Kennedy Vaughn -- wrote the best book I have ever read on this subject! The name is “The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life” by John Kennedy Vaughan

Laus Deo,

Gabe