Excerpts from “The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life” by John Kennedy Vaughan
“Being truthful means more than just telling the truth as we see it. It means having the courage to look for the real truth. “Love doesn’t just respond to what people do. Love seeks to understand the thought behind the action because that’s where the truth is hidden. Fear will speak its mind without regard for the truth, or how the words wound, or how they might be received; and without asking the question of why someone does what they do. But the why often reveals the truth. Love always seeks the truth. When we know the truth, we can speak the truth in love—not angrily or hurtfully but in a manner that will most likely be meaningfully received by the one who needs to hear it. “And many times, in searching for the real truth, we find we are the ones that need to change. My first thought every time I get hurt is that the person who hurt me doesn’t care about me or, worse, wanted to hurt me. Most of the time, neither of these is true. Most of the time, when we get hurt, people had no intention to hurt us and hoped we would not get hurt. Most of the time, they are fighting their own fears and distracted from the truth of the consequences of their actions. Sometimes they have considered them and truly don’t care or are rejoicing in evil and did want to hurt us. “The most powerful part about asking why someone did what they did before we respond is that it helps us find the truth, whatever it is. But when we ask others about their motivations, we must be sure we seek the truth in love. If we ask for answers out of anger, pride, or any of the things fear is, most people will simply respond to protect themselves and the truth they don’t want to share. “If we ask for their sake, we may just learn the real truth. If, through seeking, we learn that a person who has offended us intended to do so or does not care that they did, we can thank God we know that, because if they won’t change, we may need to run while the getting is still good. If the real truth is that they actually do delight in evil, we surely need to hit the road and maybe try and love from a distance. “However, if, as is most likely, the hurt and offense were unintentional, treating the person as if they were intentional won’t solve any problems or help us or the other person. The most dangerous people in the world are people ruled by fear. When fear fully rules a life, it’s a very dangerous thing. In most cases, though, the truth is not what we first think. When I know someone is doing what they are doing not just to hurt me but because they are afraid, it really makes it easier for me to love.” Our friends, our families, first responders and healthcare workers, leaders in our communities, our states and our country are encountering unprecedented situations. Fear and anger are trying to define everything and everyone. I wrote these words in my book “The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life” long before anyone imagined the threats and challenges we are facing today at every level. These words, written months and years before this, speak to all of us, more clearly and pertinently today than ever before. Truth doesn’t fit into a box or boundary; neither does love and neither does God. We need to abide in them and seek them out right now. Laus Deo, Kenny |
